The revelation

I don’t know what got into me that night.  I don’t know how I got enough strength to say those things to you.  Probably because my heart was almost bursting due to the immense feelings I have for you.
 
It was one of those nights that we were burning the phone lines.  I don’t even remember how we got into the topic.  As usual, we were talking about your rants about your love life.

Do you know how much it hurts hearing you talk about her over and over? …Especially when you kept on repeating how much you love her.  And do you know how much it hurts me seeing you having a hard time and getting hurt.  You just don’t know how much that breaks my heart.  Somehow wishing I was the one you were in love with.  For sure your feelings wouldn’t end in vain.
 
Do you know how much it hurts to see you crying? I knew she didn’t love you back.  I just don’t know how to say it to you since I know you will just get hurt.  I know how much you love her so much.
 

Next song

The moment you hear the intro of the next song, you loosened up a little your hold on me.  I knew it was her you wanted to dance with for that song.
 
Time …
I’ve been passing time
watching trains go by…
 
I pulled away and let go of your hand.
 
“Dance with her again… ”  I remember saying.  I know she was the one more appropriate to dance with for that song. I was willing to give way…I always gave way…
 
You paused for a second.  That was the longest second I ever had.
 
“No, it’s ok. You’re the one I’m dancing with now.”
 
You gave my hand an extra squeeze and pulled me closer to you again
 
And it’s telling me it might be you
All of my life
 
*sigh* 

Contented

Yes, I was contented of what we were at that time.  I wasn’t asking for more. I never did. I knew very well where I stood in your life. I’m your bestfriend, right?…just your bestfriend…At that instant I didn’t really care what we are or the possibilities of what we might be..  I just treasured that moment.  I knew it was the only moment that I would be the one in your arms and not her.
 
We had small talks in between.  Reassuring ourselves nothing would change when we’d get to college.  Vowing we’ll always be there for each other since we’ll be going to the same school but different colleges.
 
 I know you’d be a great doctor someday.  I know how much you wanna be one, you said so on one of  those times we’d go to the soccer field when you’d let me  lie down on your tummy and you’d play with my hair. And beneath the star-cloaked sky we’d share our dreams and aspirations. 
 
*sigh*

Gradball

I guess I won’t really be able to determine when I did start falling…the point is, I did!  You dunno how guilty I felt for having those feelings.  I didn’t want you to think that I was taking advantage of our closeness.  And besides, I knew I was bound to get hurt.  I knew how much you were in love with her!
 
I dunno if it was a good thing that we were soon off to college.  Maybe with the new environment, I’d be able to get over you.
 
On our grad ball, I waited for you to ask me to dance… I wondered what number I am in your queue.  I know there were a lot of girls who’d want to dance with you as well…
 
After the first two songs, which was understandable that you’d be dancing with your date, I saw you look around. Am I the one you’re looking for? 
 
My hands turned cold when you found your way towards me.
 
Take my hand
We’ll walk awhile, talk awhile
Feel my love always there beside you…
 
*sigh*
 
I can still remember how tightly you held my hand and led me to the dance floor.  You pulled me close…almost hugging me. I felt so comfortable in your arms…so safe…so content…

I love you more than you’ll ever know
I love you more than you’ll ever see
More than my heart could ever show
I love you more than you’ll ever know

In too deep

When did I start falling for you?
 
Which among the times you’d wait up for me so we could go home together…or rather walk out the gate together (we take different paths going home) and you’d wait until I get a ride?  Was it when I associated you to the early evening star (errr…planet?) which we’d see walking towards the gate?…the star that seemed so near, but I know I can never reach… I was contented seeing that star every night…It was reassuring to think that it would always be there…just like you.
 
When did I start falling for you?
 
Which among the times we lied down at the soccer field?  Was it that night when the moon was full and we were having a contest which one would see the most falling stars? I dunno why one of my wishes on one of the 3 falling stars I saw was that I’d never lose you.
 
When did I start falling for you?
 
Was it that gloomy night when there were only a few stars faintly blinking?…it was so dark but you still found your way to wipe the tears I was trying to hide.
 
Nope, that wasn’t the first time I knew I was falling for you.  That time, I was already in too deep.